That's not my problem

Mental health is a pressing issue that affects everyone in some way. From anxiety and depression to trauma and self-doubt, many of us face personal demons that challenge our well-being. These battles can be invisible but profoundly impact how we live, work, and relate to others. In the context of relationships—whether they are within our families, friendships, or marriages, recognizing that everyone is dealing with their own struggles is essential. However, while we must be compassionate and understanding, we must also uphold accountability. Love and grace must coexist with a commitment to addressing the root of struggles and taking healthy steps toward healing.

Everyone Has Personal Struggles

The Bible speaks often of the trials and tribulations of life. James 1:2-4 reminds us, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.” From a Christian perspective, everyone is in a process of refinement through the challenges they face. These personal demons in the form of anxiety, fear, guilt, or grief, are part of the human condition.

In relationships, it's essential to remember that we are all broken in some way, seeking healing and restoration. Romans 3:23 teaches that “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,” which implies that none of us are immune to personal weaknesses and struggles. While our own demons may be different, empathy is crucial. We are called to “bear one another’s burdens” (Galatians 6:2), offering grace and understanding to those we love.

However, allowing for each other's struggles does not mean ignoring sinful or harmful behavior. While we empathize with one another’s difficulties, accountability remains a vital part of any relationship. Holding each other accountable is an act of love, rooted in the desire to help each other grow closer to God.

Accountability and Love

Scripture calls us to be accountable not only to God but to one another. In Matthew 18:15-17, Jesus outlines the process for addressing a brother or sister who has sinned. This passage emphasizes the importance of confrontation, but not with the intent to condemn. Instead, it’s about reconciliation and healing. Similarly, when it comes to mental health and personal struggles, the Church of Christ teaches that love and accountability must go hand in hand.

Being compassionate and empathetic doesn’t mean turning a blind eye to unhealthy behaviors that result from someone’s struggles. It’s essential to create space for these struggles. Everyone has bad days, moments of doubt, or times when life feels unmanageable. Giving your loved ones the grace to have those moments without judgment is crucial for maintaining healthy connections. For example, if a loved one is dealing with stress or anxiety, they may lash out or withdraw emotionally. While it’s important to understand the reasons behind these actions, it’s equally important to address the behavior in a way that fosters healing. Ignoring harmful behavior allows it to fester, potentially damaging relationships and the individual’s spiritual growth.

Ephesians 4:15 reminds us to “speak the truth in love.” This verse captures the heart of accountability within relationships. When we confront someone about their actions, it should be done with the goal of helping them grow, not tearing them down. Accountability here means understanding that everyone makes mistakes, but also committing to the hard work of self-improvement.

The Need for Action and Healing

While acknowledging the struggles that everyone faces is important, recognizing personal demons without taking steps to manage and overcome them is incomplete. The path to healing and wholeness is not passive. Navigating accountability, particularly when mental health struggles are involved, is a delicate process. It’s easy to fall into extremes—either enabling harmful behaviors out of sympathy or being overly harsh and dismissive of someone’s struggles. The goal is to find a middle ground where compassion meets accountability. In this balance, it’s essential to remember that both people in the relationship have needs that must be considered. No one’s struggles should entirely eclipse the other’s.

1 Corinthians 10:13 offers hope by reminding us that no temptation or trial is beyond what we can bear, and God provides a way out. This applies not only to spiritual temptations but also to the struggles we face with mental health. God has given us resources, whether through prayer, Scripture, inter personal relationships or counseling to help us navigate the challenges in our lives.

For those battling stress, anxiety, depression, or other personal struggles, seeking help is not a sign of weakness but a demonstration of faith in action. Prayer, reading Scripture, and engaging in the church community are powerful tools in dealing with mental health challenges.

Building Healthy Relationships

In relationships, whether they are between friends, family members, or spouses, the balance between understanding and accountability is key. Galatians 5:22-23 speaks of the fruits of the Spirit—love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. These qualities must be present as we navigate our relationships, especially when dealing with personal struggles.

When someone we care about is going through a difficult time, our response should be rooted in these virtues. Patience allows us to walk alongside them without rushing the process. Gentleness ensures that our words and actions are motivated by love, not frustration or anger. Self-control helps us maintain healthy boundaries, ensuring that we do not enable harmful behaviors but instead encourage positive change.

Yet, as Colossians 3:13 reminds us, we must “bear with each other and forgive one another.” In doing so, we are called to extend grace, just as God has extended grace to us. This means that while we hold each other accountable, we also offer forgiveness and understanding, knowing that growth is a process.

Walking Together in Faith

Mental health is an important issue that affects everyone, and personal demons are part of the human condition. We MUST have empathy, understanding, and a commitment to helping others through their struggles. But we must manifest that love in connection with the need for accountability. Healthy relationships are built on the balance of love and responsibility, supporting each other while encouraging growth and healing.

Ultimately, as we walk together through this unbalanced world, we must remember that God is not only our ultimate source of healing and strength but also our beacon of balance. Relationships become richer and more meaningful when we allow space for vulnerability, understanding, and mutual support.