IT TAKES A VILLAGE

The phrase “it takes a village to raise a child” originates from an African proverb and conveys the message that it takes many people (“the village”) to provide a safe, healthy environment for children, where children are given the security they need to develop and flourish, and to be able to realize their hopes and dreams. As we prepare to make this drastic change in our families lives, the term is constantly swirling in my head. It was, and remains, the primary reservation on all of our plans to upheave and move our family into the unknown wilds of Colorado.

I often laugh and refer to my children as “those feral Simpson boys” as I see them spreading across whatever event or sporting venue we find ourselves in that day in search of their favorite snack supplier, story teller, friend group, or simply hugger. But it wasn’t until this trigger point in our lives that I really thought, “this is it. This is what parenting has always been to me”

Growing up I relied on my village. Not because I wasn’t supported, loved and protected in my own home and with my own family, but rather because I required more. In my time of rebellion I relied on strong men to not only love me but stand face to face and force me to face the harsh realities I refused to see. During times of family crises I relied on my village to support our family as a whole. These experiences shaped my view of fatherhood to include not only raising my boys to be a better version of myself but to also surround them with

loving, caring men and women that would help shape my children's lives.

My boys will talk to me about ANYTHING, (including things I occasionally wish they would keep to themselves… they are boys after all) But I know the day is approaching that they will come across a challenge or idea that they are not ready to bring to our table. So what then? The internet? The equally hormonal, searching, and questioning teenage friends? Now, if I'm honest all of my children have done an amazing job in choosing their friend groups full of mature, honest, and fun loving kids which we have come to view as one of our own. But they are not always the source for answering the big questions life throws at us, but rather a think tank of ideas that are honed into a belief system. By the grace of God we have a village of men and women willing to stand face to face with my boys when needed, hold them accountable without judgment when needed, love them when needed, and support them when needed.

But something peculiar happened that I hadn't planned on growing up. My personal need for the village didn’t go away. This same village that helps me raise my children into a better version of me, continues to help me grow into a better version of me.

As we prepare to move 1000 miles away I wonder what that next component of our village will look like.

It's not a new village after all, as our village will still be a part of us and willing to stand in. But we will be adding to our village with more members with new needs and abilities.

Where is your village? If you don’t have one I pray you find one as amazing as mine. And as scary as it is, I am looking forward to finding where I can support those we are about to add, because the Good Lord knows we are gonna need all the help we can get in return.